Itches
by glindalovesshoes
Summary: OutlawBandit - After ruining a coup she's been planning for months, Bandit Regina takes her sweet revenge on Robin and the Merry Men.
My first tumblr prompt which I received from the wonderful Zoe ( mysterious-song)
"I don't hate you... I just don't like that you exist." "I might have had a few shots." "Kiss me." You can do any 1, 2 or 3 (or just put more than one together)

Hope you guys like it!

Regina was pissed off, annoyed. She was drop dead furious with that damned dimple- faced thief. Not only had he crossed a line today, the fact he'd made a mockery out of her for all the public to see had tipped her over the edge. How dare he? How dare he ruin the coup she'd been planning for _months_ in order to arrange her passage over the sea? This arrogant, big-headed, sneaky bastard! The royal post carriage had been _her_ target, hers alone and then this damned thief with his stupid mocking smile, his oh-so-precious "my arrow never misses its mark" attitude and dumb folded band of Merry Men had ruined it all! Argh!

It was like he'd known. He'd known she needed that damned carriage and done it all just to mock her. Oh, but he would pay for it. He would pay dearly, even if it meant breaking every one of his precious arrows. One. By. One.

The thief wanted to play dirty? Well dirty he would get, even if it was the last thing she did.

So once the darkness set in, she made her way over to the tavern where she knew the thief and his men would celebrate their win. Oh and celebrate they would later on… especially in the morning if everything went according to plan. Well, they shouldn't leave their camp supervised by only one young idiot (who was already drunk off his ass due to the little gift she left behind for him), snoring louder than a bear holding winter sleep.

She kicked against him with her toe, making sure he really was asleep. He didn't move, just grunted. Carefully she retrieved the empty bottle from his grasp, making sure to leave no traces behind. Now let the fun begin. Carefully she slipped into the tents, spreading a bit of the poisoned ivy she'd collected earlier that day onto each and every bedroll and onto the clothes she found.

The Merry Men and their leader were a pain in the ass and tomorrow their asses and balls would itch so hard she was sure this was the last time they ever interfered with her plans.

Once she arrived at Robin's tent, she made sure to carefully rub parts of the ivy onto his pillow. If she couldn't punch him in the face at least she could make sure his face carried her mark. Smiling with satisfaction, she finished her job, pleased once she found the quiver with his arrows stashed away in the far back of the tent. Oh, now came the pleasing part of her revenge.

It was a shame to break the beautiful hand carved arrows, it really was, but that wouldn't stop her. She would just take them and break them and… "What the hell?!"

Nothing happened. As much as she tried to break them, even using her knee, the damned arrows didn't break.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Fine. Fine, if she couldn't break the stupid things by herself she would find the nearest axe to break them.

Angrily, Regina rushed out of the tent, her bag with the bottle and poisoned ivy long forgotten. Thankfully she found an axe near the pile of fire wood close to the campfire. Even if she was sure the boy was asleep she wouldn't take any chances. Instead, she holstered the quiver and made her way over to the edge of the camp, where the trees and a fallen log would shelter her from eventual prying eyes of the camp.

With the arrow in one and the axe in the other, she sat down sideways on the log, her face determined. The axe struck out, landing heavily on the shaft of the arrow, but nothing happened. It didn't break, the blade didn't cut through the wood. Furious, Regina struck out once again, her mind determined on destroying Robin's damned arrows if it was the last thing she did, but nothing happened.

Shocked, she hammered the blade of the axe into the log. "What the hell is this? Are these damned arrows enchanted or what?!"

"There is a reason they never miss…" a voice behind her said with an obvious smile.

Regina tensed, her breath caught in her throat. Shit. "Robin Hood." Her voice was flat, not scared, but picked with obvious discomfort. Wasn't he supposed to be getting drunk with his men in the tavern? Had he been spying on her all the time?

"The Bandit Regina. May I ask what my arrows did to you that made you try to break them with an axe of all things? You really hate me that much, huh?"

"I don't hate you… I just don't like that you exist," she pressed out through clenched teeth. "You ruined my robbery with your pathetic little army of child archers."

"Ouch. I'm not sure my men would appreciate that comparison."

"Pff," she grunted, throwing the quiver at his feet. Leaving was the best thing she could do now, so she turned around and headed for the forest, angry with Robin, his band, his stupid enchanted arrows and most of all, herself.

"Oh come on, Regina. Wait."

"I have nothing to say to you."

A dull collision followed by a groan made her stop in her tracks. "Did you just seriously stumble over a root?"

"I might have had a few shots," he huffed out in defense while picking himself up. His hand reached out to a tree for support. "I think I hit my head."

Of course he had. Annoyed, she rolled her eyes, debating whether to leave him be or try to help him. He didn't deserve her help at all, not after humiliating her last night, but she never left anyone injured behind. With a deep sigh and pursed lips, she walked toward him.

"Are you injured?"

"Uh…"

"Or are you just drunk off your ass?"

"A little bit of both maybe? Uh… can you bring me back to my camp?" Seriously?!

"Oh for God's sake, come here!" She slipped an arm under one of his for support and together they walked, well, it was more of a stumble, back to the camp.

"Don't you dare fall asleep while walking. I won't carry you," Regina mumbled when his steps became slower and slower, his head lulling against hers more often.

"Kiss me," he mumbled, leaning heavily onto her shoulder, his hot breath tickling the skin on her neck. What the hell? Had he just…

"What?"

"I want you to kiss me."

"No!" She tried to brush him off but he stayed put, smiling against her shoulder. God, he reeked of whiskey and earthy and forest and she couldn't decide whether she should love or loathe it. _No, Regina! Focus!_

"Why not, Regina? I'm drunk, I won't remember this tomorrow anyway. What do you have to lose?"

"Oh, where do you want me to start? My face, my dignity, my pride, my name…" Regina broke off when he suddenly pulled back, standing wobbly on his feet. Robin was mustering her, his head put to his side, his eyes boring into hers. When his fingers traced the line of her eyebrows she flinched back, turning her head to the side but Robin stopped her, brushing it back with his index finger in order to make her look at him.

He was now directly looking at her, his breath biting in her nose and for a moment she wondered if you could get drunk from simply breathing in whiskey.

"Listen to me Regina." His voice sounded serious now, the light slur he had before completely gone. "Your face is the most beautiful I have ever seen."

"But…"

"You have no idea of how much I admire and respect your work and it would take much, _much_ more for you to lose your dignity than kissing me."

"I…"

He shook his head, shutting her up so he could continue. "You are one of the proudest people I know and that's what makes you best at what you do, because you do it with your heart. And your name… Regina… it's beautiful just like you. It's regal like the way you carry yourself. It's fit for a queen, a queen of outlaws. Never think anyone or anything can take that from you, no matter what."

Their gazes were intense, neither of them dared to blink. For once, she was thankful for the dark shimmering light of the night surrounding them because this way Robin wouldn't see her blush.

"You're so drunk, Robin," she answered, not being able to think of anything else to say. She dragged him a little further.

"Then you know it's honest, because drunk people mostly speak the truth."

A snort escaped her. "And this comes from a professional thief and liar."

"Touché."

They'd reached the edge of the camp now, the shimmering campfire now bright enough to see each other for real. For a moment it seemed like he wanted to kiss her, with his hand reaching for her tenderly and his pupils dilated, but he just smiled cheekily, thanking her for bringing him back to camp.

"Good night, Regina. It was a pleasure to finally meet you. May our paths cross again, soon."

"Just don't get in my way again."

"Wouldn't dream of it…" He watched her turn around, heading for the forest. She'd vanished behind a tree when he smiled. "Perhaps I interfered because I didn't want you to leave… Perhaps I want you here… Perhaps… No, I'm quite sure this is the start of something wonderful."

A big yawn escaped his mouth. It was late, he should go to sleep. Maybe it was because he was really slightly drunk but he hadn't noticed that Regina hadn't moved away from behind the tree as he thought she had. No, instead she'd heard everything with a thumping heart and her blood rushing in her ears.

Perhaps he was right and that _would_ be the start of something wonderful indeed.

Xxxxx

When Robin woke up to the groaning and moaning from outside, feeling his body itching and burning in places he didn't even know existed. After finding Regina's bag with the flask and poisoned ivy on his floor, he realized he would have to postpone the start of something "wonderful" he'd hoped for yesterday. Firstly, his little bandit would pay for this cruel joke here.


End file.
